Sarah Friedland isn't done talking about the body yet.
“My next film will be about this too. I’m working on a script that blends dance and storytelling. I’ll probably do that for the rest of my life. At this point, I’m very much in tune with the rhythms and politics of the body,” says the debutant director. diverse.
In “Familiar Touch,” which premiered in Venice’s Orizzonti section, she celebrates the sensuality of the elderly, especially Ruth (“The Affair”), who moves into life in a nursing home. Also starring are Caroline Michele, Andy McQueen and H. John Benjamin.
“We often talk about older people ‘fading out’ and things getting ‘blurry.’ But as some of their cognitive functions decline, other senses become enhanced. Touch, taste, smell—all of these senses can become very sharp,” she says.
“For Ruth, I was inspired by the ‘No Bullshit’ line for women. How do they feel about losing their independence, when so many of their youth have been tied to these ideas of feminism and independence? I didn’t want her to get carried away with these ‘little old lady’ and ‘nice granny’ tropes. We tend to dismiss or joke about their sexuality. To me, that’s very childish and terrifying.”
After the festival premiere in Italy, Friedland plans to hold a series of workshops to accompany future performances.
“We wanted to replicate the way we made this film across generations. We facilitated a filmmaking workshop for residents of a real assisted living facility called Villa Gardens, and encouraged them to make their own films. Later, they joined our cast,” she says, noting that the idea for the story came 15 years ago, when her grandmother was diagnosed with dementia.
“She really appreciated verbal expression. When she became unable to speak and was moved to a memory care facility, my family started talking about her as if she was already gone. But whenever I visited her, she was so physically expressive and present,” she says.
Feeling “disturbed” by this contradiction, Friedland responded to an ad posted by a sculptor with dementia, looking for “part-assistant, part-caregiver.” She later ended up working with other artists and creatives in New York City who were struggling with the condition.
“It changed everything I thought I knew about aging, identity, and the intimacy of care work.”
She has directed a trilogy of “Movement Exercises”, including short “Home Exercises” where seniors practice their daily routines. She has also taught filmmaking in their communities.
“‘The Familiar Touch’ was a way to integrate all of that: my work with movement and bodies in front of the camera, and my work with older people,” she says, without fear of stepping into painful places.
Early in the film—produced by Alexandra Bayer for Rathaus Films and Matthew Thurm for Go for Thurm—Ruth is visited by a strange man. He asks her to follow him, and she does, heading straight to what will now be her new home. And this attractive man? He is actually her adult son, Steve.
“It’s a very uncomfortable experience, but many people experience it with their loved ones. They perceive familiarity and intimacy, but they can’t define that relationship. My clients see me as their age peer. You learn how to meet them where they are and affirm their version of reality,” she notes.
“I wanted to honor Ruth’s desire for intimacy and connection, even when the directing is awkward, and do it in a way that doesn’t shame her. I’m so grateful to the actors, because they were so open to Ruth and Steve’s experiences. It worked because of the amount of nuance they brought.”
Friedland, who has in the past assisted directors such as Steve McQueen and Kelly Reichardt, hopes that after watching the film, viewers will think about their own wants and needs, and will be able to express their wishes about how they will be cared for as they grow older.
“There’s this idea that when older people experience memory loss, they also ‘lose themselves.’ I see this in so many films, told from the perspective of their children or romantic partners and focusing on grief. I wanted to make a film that didn’t trivialize that grief, but for my clients, their daily lives weren’t marked by tragedy. They were acts of joy, fun, and interaction.”
