When a friend When a group of Mormon moms turned TikTok influencers exploded on TikTok, the drama at the center was a rumor that each of the moms (and their partners) were engaging in soft swinging — that is, attending parties and swapping partners with each other. Led by TikTok star Taylor Frankie Paul, the rumor went from a rambling confession on TikTok Live to national headlines, putting each mom in the spotlight. Now, nearly two years later, the #MomTok swingers are back with a Hulu reality show that’s putting the swinging rumors on full HD. But in a swinging community where partner-swapping isn’t a scandal but a committed lifestyle, many creators are telling Rolling Stone They are tired of being the butt of jokes. “There was deception,” one says of the scandal that erupted last year. “There were no clear boundaries, no clear rules. They were just acting according to their expectations. And it all blew up in their faces.”
The Secret Lives of Mormon WivesHulu’s latest reality show, which follows the stars of #MomTok, picks up almost directly where the online drama began, showing viewers how the mommy-themed content house got its start. The series first went viral in 2022 after Ball announced she was separating from her husband. After publicly stating that the two would co-parent, Ball told her followers in a now-infamous TikTok livestream that behind the picture-perfect content house was a secret group of swinging friends—a group that destroyed her marriage. “Nobody is innocent,” Ball said. “Everyone was hooked up with everybody.”
According to the publications, no one was allowed to go to the finale unless the couple was in the room, but Ball claimed that her divorce stemmed specifically from her breaking the rules of swinging with a friend’s husband. The show features Ball and a group of other Mormon wives, and it deals with women’s struggles with motherhood, relationships, and the church (all to a blaring background track of religious-themed pop music. Words like “sinful” or “unholy” are regulars). But while swinging is the topic on everyone’s lips, what quickly becomes clear is that it wasn’t everyone’s extracurricular activity—at least not to the extent Ball originally implied.
Like many relationship dynamics, swinging is often discussed in online spaces like Reddit and TikTok. Unlike strict non-monogamy or polyamory, swinging is often a couple-based dynamic, meaning that partners share partners together. But when the #MomTok swinging scandal first became national news, swinging couple Lacy and Dan M. Rolling Stone They were already feeling frustrated that their lifestyle was being portrayed in a negative light, especially since they already felt stigmatized and misunderstood.
“If you watch a TV show about swinging, if you hear stories about it, even when a lot of reality shows have approached us, they always want to focus on the negative side,” Lacey says. “And I think that’s exactly what happened with the #MomTok scandal. It’s the negative side of swinging and if you’re not educated and you don’t do your research, how things can go wrong so quickly. And I think that’s a story that people love to exploit.”
Dan points out that the drama behind the #MomTok wife-swapping scandal — specifically, Paul’s claim that she ignored the rules she and her husband had set — plays into the narrative that swappers are careless cheaters who ignore people’s rules and boundaries. Just as being in a multi-purpose room involves house meetings and lifelong check-ins, couples who follow proper wife-swapping etiquette really do prioritize consent and ground rules.
“Just like with monogamy, you still have to get to know people and feel comfortable with them,” says Dan. “What do you like? What are your rules? What are your boundaries? And I don’t think people realize that. They just think it’s one big sex party open to everyone.”
According to Candice C. and Eric Z., another swinger couple who share lifestyle tutorials on TikTok, there’s a lot of stigma surrounding swingers already. People assume that swingers are dirty, have STDs, are sex-obsessed, are headed for divorce, and are out to steal unsuspecting spouses from people. The couple says that while there are bad actors in every community, the large percentage of swingers and swinger groups they know are very intentional about creating a safe reputation—which is evident in the Mormon wives It may go off track unintentionally.
“Swingers care about protection, consent, and STD testing. People take that very seriously,” says Candice. “So to see that portrayed in a blatant way is a little bit upsetting. For us, that’s not what this lifestyle is supposed to be. Swingers are professionals, adults, all consensual, all on the same page. So every time I see it, I think, [#MomTok swingers]”It's bothering me.”
For Eric, that discomfort is real, too. “They don’t really know what they’re talking about,” Eric adds. “This isn’t really the lifestyle, so all it’s going to do is feed the stigma of what they think this lifestyle is, and we don’t want to get involved with that. Because people who live this lifestyle are going to immediately talk about it, laugh about it, and ignore it. It’s more about people who stay home, get bored at night, and look for a TV show. They end up watching this. And then, of course, they see the stigma side of it, the fake side of it, the cheating side of it, and they think that’s what it is.”
All the swingers I spoke to Rolling Stone They stressed that while they could do nothing about the misconceptions that Mormon wives The show may go on, but they're focused on demystifying and demystifying swingers for people who might be interested in the lifestyle. And even if the creators of #MomTok weren't telling the truth, or were dedicated or even one-time swingers, the problem isn't that they all probably had swingers – the problem is that the rules might have been broken.
“[Cheating] “It can happen,” says Lacy. “But if you do the research, and take the time to educate yourself, you can [swing] In a better way and maybe you'll actually learn something about yourself.”
